It can be a real challenge to learn to talk to yourself with kindness and gentleness. but here's something I have found can help:
Carry a photo of yourself as a kid, (I have one on my phone that I use).
Whenever you find yourself speaking harshly to yourself in your own head, maybe berating yourself for something you did wrong, or negatively comparing yourself to others, take out the photo and imagine you're talking to that little kid. Would you scold them so crossly? Would you tell them they're not as good as their siblings or friends? I doubt it!
Try this over the next week and see how it goes, I know from my own experience, and that of the clients I see in my practice that it can make a real difference.
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