Other Ways of Seeing
How we view the world is coloured largely by two things: how we feel on the inside, and our evolutionary bias toward scanning for danger.
Maybe you have noticed that if you're feeling a little blue, your daily interactions and activities will tend to feel flat and dull. Or if you're feeling anxious, they may seem to be tinged with an unnameable fear.
You might also have noticed how we hold on to the one negative comment but quickly forget the five positive ones. This is a genetic pre-disposition from our hunter-gatherer days, when we were constantly on the lookout for things that could eat us, and, our need to be accepted as part of the group as there is safety in numbers.
These are two good reasons to not trust the first interpretation your mind offers you, and to actively seek out other ways of seeing a situation.
An example might be when you send a message, and you see the two blue ticks that tell you it's been read, but your friend doesn't reply. You might instantly think: "Oh no! What did I do to offend her??" - but don't accept that. Come up with at least 2 other ways of interpreting the situation. Maybe your friend got distracted; maybe she was just about to go into a meeting; maybe her phone ran out of battery just then.
If you find it hard to come up with other ways of seeing something, ask a friend to help you, or pretend a friend has asked you for help. Give it a try, and see how it feels!
"In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. That shades “implicit memory” – your underlying expectations, beliefs, action strategies, and mood – in an increasingly negative direction....But you don’t have to accept this bias! By tilting toward the good – “good” in the practical sense of that which brings more happiness to oneself and more helpfulness to others – you merely level the playing field." - Dr. Rick Hanson
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The Weekly Minute is a blog I write each week with the aim of providing proven tools to help promote positive mental health.
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