Patience & Acceptance

Hello again, it's been a while! Apologies for the radio silence over the past few months, I've been very busy learning about some of the things I try to encourage in my clients, Patience and Acceptance!
I had surgery a few months ago, and when I went off work I was sure I would be back in a few weeks. I was incredibly frustrated when the few weeks were up and I was still needing a nap after doing the smallest thing!
I continued this pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on my recovery, and then getting down on myself when I didn't meet them, and I'll be honest, I still do it.
However, now that I am aware what I'm up to I'm getting better at catching myself in the act, and stopping it before it spirals into anger and frustration with myself and my imagined failings.

When I notice what I am doing (it usually comes in the form of thinking there is something wrong with me for not being fully healed yet, or disliking my body for the extra few pounds I can't shake because I can't exercise properly), I stop, and remind myself that healing needs time, so I need patience. This is relatively easy for me, it's logical and I get it. The more difficult part is the acceptance.

How can I accept what is difficult in my life? I know I need to do this because studies have shown that resisting difficult feelings actually strengthens them. I can see this in myself too, when I resist how things are, then I am actually telling myself that there is something wrong with me, that I am not good enough. So here is what acceptance looks like for me: 

• I notice that I'm giving out to myself, and I stop.
• I place my hand on my belly, and another on my heart and take a couple of relaxing breaths.
• I say a couple of times to myself, "It's ok, you're doing ok, everything is as it should be right now.".
• Sometimes I believe this, and it goes in.
• Sometimes I don't believe it, then I see if I can at least believe that it might be true.
• I keep going until I feel myself soften, and stop fighting against myself.

This isn't a one-off practice, I need to repeat it whenever I find myself being harsh internally, but it helps every time I do it, and had gradually brought down the levels of frustration, and allows me to take the time I need to heal properly.

Wherever you are at today, whatever you are struggling against, see if you can bring some acceptance to your situation, and most importantly, yourself. Don't fight what can't change, save your energy for things that can. :)

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"For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining, is to let it rain." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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