Reject or Accept?

Instructions for "Reject or Accept?":
When you notice discomfort, either physical or mental:

1. Take a belly breath to help ground you.
2. Resist the urge to react to the discomfort — This could mean trying to explain it away; telling yourself to 'be positive'; or worrying about the source of the discomfort; etc.
3. Instead, see if you can accept it, safe in the knowledge that everything changes, and this will too.

For example, if I notice at 3pm today that I am feeling a bit sad, some typical reactions might be:

• Try to find a reason for it—Was it something I ate? Is it my cycle? Did what John said at lunch really hurt me?
• Try to 'be positive' about it—I could say to myself "I have nothing to feel bad about, I have to get over it! Think of something happy right now!"
• Try to get busy—Distract myself from the sadness by finding something to do.

These responses aren't bad in themselves, but the underlying message of them is that it's a bad thing to feel sad. While it might be true that we generally don't enjoy feeling discomfort, and wallowing in it is not productive, it is a fact of life that we will not be comfortable, pain-free, or happy all the time.
​If we can accept this, we change our relationship to discomfort when it arises. It will no longer hold the same fear, struggle, or guilt for us. When we struggle against discomfort, we give it even more energy, raising it's profile in our lives, and exaggerating it's effect. When we switch the struggle for acceptance, we can allow discomfort to be, and then pass, as all things inevitably do.

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"Our attempts to find lasting pleasure, lasting security, are at odds with the fact that we’re part of a dynamic system in which everything and everyone is in process." - Pema Chodron

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