Who Do You Trust?

Self-trust is good thing. It can help us act more confidently and wisely in daily life, it can reduce anxiety and indecision, and it allows us to make better choices for ourselves based on our own needs, and not what others want of us. But, it depends on which part of yourself you trust.

We are all made up of many parts, and they tend to reflect what's going on inside and outside of us. If I'm in a hurry I can be impatient/dismissive Claire, if I'm feeling insecure I can be miserable/defensive Claire (she's not much fun). If I am in a good mood I am kind and generous Claire.
Trying to remain consistent in life, and the choices I make is pretty challenging with all these different selves at the steering wheel on different days!
Making a simple decision like going for a walk every day becomes a roulette depending which part of me is in charge of getting off the sofa and putting my coat on. Impatient Claire sees it as just another thing to squeeze into my day and does something 'more important', Miserable Claire thinks it is all pointless so doesn't bother, Kind/Generous Claire dances around the walk no bother (if only she was around every day...).

There is another part of me that I can trust consistently though. Sometimes, it speaks so quietly I have to strain to hear it, sometimes, I can be too caught up in being annoyed or sad or busy to listen for it, but as time passes, and painful lessons are learned, I have come to realise the importance of it.
It's the part of me that sits back and observes all my other selves squabble over what's best for me, and, when I choose to listen, offers me the most loving response. 
Daily meditation is how to hear it. When I meditate every day, the volume of the other parts of me dims, and I get to hear my own steady inner wisdom. 
This part of me is loving and kind, patient and forgiving. It wants the best for me, and waits calmly for me no matter how many times I ignore it, mess up, or repeat old mistakes. It knows me well, and will show me the way, whenever I choose to ask.

See if you can sit in awareness every day. Try not to strain or reach for your inner wisdom, just see if you can quieten enough to make room for it. Notice what comes. You might find some real self-trust. 

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“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.” 
― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

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