Instructions for "Breaking Old Patterns":
For the past minute, you have practiced being in control of your 'monkey mind'. You have promoted relaxation, and improved your focus. Aim to do this several times a day for the next week. (It may help to set a reminder on your phone.) Each time you practice, know that you are doing a little more to break the habits of your automatic thinking, and take control of your life. If you have any questions about Breaking Old Patterns, email me! Neuroscience research shows that "neurons that fire together, wire together" (Hebb, 2009). Like a path worn in grass, neuronal pathways strengthen with repetitive use. Mindfulness practice is your opportunity to establish healthy pathways in your brain, so it no longer chooses default responses such as anger, anxiety, stress, or fear.
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Instructions for "3 Step Breathing Space": Adopt an erect and dignified posture, and close your eyes. Step 1 - Become aware of your inner experience in this moment. What thoughts are in your mind? As best you can, see them as mental events, don't get involved with them. Label them, 'thinking'. What feelings are present? Acknowledge whatever is present, and if it's unpleasant, try to turn toward it, and not away. What sensations are in the body? Quickly scan the body to see what you notice, are there any sensations of tightness or contraction? Step 2 - Focus your attention on the breath at the abdomen. As best you can, focus on the sensations in the abdomen as it rises and falls with the breath. Remain here for at least three full breaths. If the mind wanders, gently and kindly bring it back to the breath. Step 3 - Expand the attention to the body as a whole. Check in with your posture, notice your facial expression. If you notice any sensations of discomfort or tension, invite the next in-breath to soften and relax the area. Expand the attention again to include the body in the room and any sensations of touch or pressure on your chair or the floor. Gradually begin to open your attention to sounds in the room, the feeling of the air around you, and when you're ready, open the eyes and continue with your day. The 3 - Step breathing space is a fundamental part of any good mindfulness program. It trains us to step out of the auto pilot mode we spend so much of our time in, and take charge of our attention again. When we are on auto pilot, we are prone to the rumination that leads to depression, and the over-thinking that leads to anxiety. Set a reminder on your phone or smart watch to pause for a 3 Step Breathing Space at least 3 times a day, and if you feel a strong emotion, see if you can remember to use the practice. "The breathing space sets us up to encounter life in a different frame of mind, coming fully home to the present, rather than just giving ourselves a break from thinking." - Teasdale, Williams, & Segal Imagine the difference it would make if we took care of our mental health in the same way as we take care of our physical health. We know that brushing our teeth is important to keep them healthy and avoid fillings. We know that eating our 5 a day is going to encourage better health. We know that taking exercise will contribute to our overall health and fitness levels. Can we apply this same thinking to our mental health? Can we apply the 'An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away' principle, to our heads?
Here are a couple of suggestions for practices that are easily integrated into a day, and have a huge impact on your mental health. Choose one, or perhaps you have your own favorite practice? Do a gratitude practice. Do some relaxing breathing. Exercise in the morning. Watch your thoughts pass by. Ground using your body. "Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay." - Simone de Beauvoir Each of us has preferences of what we like, and don't like. Naturally, we react to these by trying to hold on to what we like, and push away what we don't like. Unfortunately, life isn't this simple, it is filled with a mixture of the pleasant and the unpleasant, and no amount of clinging or rejecting will hold off the ups and downs of life forever. As we saw last week with the Attitude of Acceptance, when we try to avoid or turn away from painful experiences, it can increase suffering. It is the same with joyful experiences, when we try to hold on to them, we can end up sucking the joy out of them. Think of when we try to hold on too tight to a loved one, and they feel smothered, or when we don't want the good night to end, and we have another drink, and suffer the next day. Life is ever changing, and nothing lasts forever. Painful experiences will pass (despite them seeming like they won't!), and and joyful experiences will also pass, leaving us enriched, and better for them.. We can practice the art of letting go using the breath. • Take a deep breath in, and on the out-breath relax the body. • Repeat. • On the next inhale, think think about how you need to let that breath go in order to inhale again. • Continue this practice for the rest of the minute, mindful of the cycle of the breath. • Reflect on how you trust the next breath to come all by itself, you don't need to do anything. • We have to let go in order to move on to the next breath. “To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling, in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome which comes out of allowing things to be as they are without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them, in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking.” - Jon Kabat-Zinn This week's Weekly minute is the second in the "9 Attitudes of Mindfulness" series, and it explores the Attitude of Acceptance. No person's life runs completely smoothly, we all face trials and difficulties, no matter who we are. When we fight against, or resist our challenges, we waste energy, and inadvertently increase the pain of them. Imagine this equation: Suffering = Pain x Resistance When we can accept things as they are, we come out of 'struggle', and into a more relaxed state, which allows for creativity and wisdom, so we can choose a better way forward. It's like the old movies when the hero was stuck in quicksand, and it was only when they stopped struggling, and relaxed the body, that they could stay on top long enough to be rescued! Practicing Acceptance: • For the next minute (or more if you have time), bring your attention to the body, working from the head down to the feet, noticing any sensations that are present. • If you encounter an unpleasant sensation like an itch, or a cramp, or pins and needles, see if you can stay with it, and be curious about it. • Does it come and go or is it constant? Does it have heat or cool? Is it sharp or dull? • Notice how it changes. • Try to just be with the sensation, accepting that nothing lasts forever, and neither will this. • Breathe into the discomfort. • Return to your day, with the intention to bring this attitude of acceptance to challenges you may meet throughout your day. "This attitude sets the stage for acting appropriately in your life, no matter what is happening. You are much more likely to know what to do and have the inner conviction to act when you have a clear picture of what is actually happening versus when your vision is clouded by your mind's self-serving judgments and desires or its fears and prejudices." - Jon Kabat-Zinn There are many many books and apps out there now about mindfulness, and how it can change your life. It's fantastic to see that such a helpful tool is becoming so popular, but buying a book, or downloading an app, will not make the change happen. What will make the change happen, is to do a Mindfulness practice daily. If you have an app on your phone use it. If you have found a practice you like, do it. I know from my own experience that buying the book and reading it can make me feel better about myself for a short while—I like the idea of myself practicing a new skill, I like the feeling of trying one or two exercises from the book and thinking about how good I will feel if I do this all the time. But I know all too well that unless I turn these thoughts into action, nothing will change. If mindfulness is not a part of daily life, you or I won't come to know the benefits of it. Here is a basic grounding practice that brings you out of your thoughts and into the present. I suggest you do it in the morning to set your compass for the day to come.
Challenge yourself to do this very simple (and free!) practice every morning for the week to come, and see how it makes a difference in your day. "Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice." - Anton Chekhov Instructions for "An Exercise in Self-Love":
We are our own harshest critics, and we get away with it because other people can't hear our thoughts and intervene when we are being mean to ourselves. Can you imagine if you heard your best friend speak to themselves as you speak to yourself sometimes? You would step in immediately to reassure them and offer loving words, so here's an opportunity to do that for yourself. It might feel weird in the beginning, but why should it? We all deserve love, even when we have messed up, in fact, isn't that when we need love the most? (Don't rush over the step of making the feeling of love really big, you want to come from a genuine feeling of love when you talk to yourself, it will give your words a real depth.) "Well-ordered self-love is right and natural." - Thomas Aquinas Instructions for "One Minute Check-in":
This is a wonderful practice to do randomly throughout the day. It's an opportunity to return the body and mind to calm and peace, so stress doesn't get to build up through the day. It makes a better day for you, and for those around you. "If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." - Thich Nhat Hanh Instructions for Positivity Training (You'll need a little notebook):
Our ability to scan the environment for danger has served us well in our survival and evolution. But for many of us, this ability is in overdrive, leaving us stressed, anxious, depressed, and fearful. When you think a certain way for a long time, you strengthen the pathways in your brain that run these thoughts, and it takes deliberate attention and perseverance to form new pathways. This week's practice is scientifically proven to forge new, more positive pathways in the brain, helping you be more naturally aware of the good that already exists in your life. "But listen to me. Instructions for "Grounding":
The simplest things can be a great source of comfort. Your breath, and the workings of gravity on your body are constant companions, but they often go unnoticed. Pay them some attention this week, and let their steady support comfort you. Know that they are there always to support and ground you whatever you face. “Get yourself grounded and you can navigate even the stormiest roads in peace.” – Steve Goodier |
The Weekly Minute is a blog I write each week with the aim of providing proven tools to help promote positive mental health.
The collection of short, practical mindfulness and therapy tools for self-reflection and self-improvement, can equip people to take their mental well-being into their own hands, and improve their quality of life. The Weekly Minute is posted here every Monday, or you can sign up to get it delivered to your inbox via the link below. Follow me on social media (see below) to make sure you don't miss one! Get the Weekly Minute delivered straight to your inbox, or follow it on social media!
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